Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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