Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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