the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
