You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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