I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Randomize
