I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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