Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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