I cockslap morals
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
