it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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