what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
