I love black thongs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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