I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
