She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
