I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
