12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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