We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I still have a little drunk in my system
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
