dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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