Don't you send me to vm
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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