lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
