Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
