My liver just broke up with me...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think i got beer on your cat.
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