I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
