I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
