Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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