Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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