Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
