So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
