hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
