I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
