I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
