Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
