her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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