it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
