Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
