if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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