i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
