mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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