Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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