David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
