come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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