My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
