You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
