Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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