I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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