that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
