I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
