Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i will never coherently bang her
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
