I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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