I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
