Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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