it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
