I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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